Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Randomize
