Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
