kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
