i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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