glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
