Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
