I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
whose ass print is on the piano?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
