Can i not drive my cunt home
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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