HIV tests are more positive than that guy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
