Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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