Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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