i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
