Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
someone owes me an orgasm
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
