woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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