jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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