so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
