it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
