i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
