A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
