A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
no you cant smoke seaweed
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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