Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
