matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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