She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
