Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
