Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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