I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
