You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
