my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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