erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
