how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
