I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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