it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
