Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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