found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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