this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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