You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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