I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
