i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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