Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
