She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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