Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
