How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
