Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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