He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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