i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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