Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
