Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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