i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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