Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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