so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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