So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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