Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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