Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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