I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
