Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
